I feel like my entire body has been stuck in CEMENT. I cannot move forward even though I want to. I can think of A MILLION reasons why I would love to be physically fit and beautiful but I'm stuck. Aside from deeply rooted emotions, what are the reasons why I'm stuck?
BRAINSTORM:
-Fear of losing motivation
-Fear of losing any ground I cover
-Fear of being worse than I was before I started
-Not wanting to feel angry for the "unfairness" of the sacrifices I have to personally do regarding food and exercise to look even half way decent compared to what other women have to do
-Not having the discipline to follow an exercise plan
-Feeling upset that I have to cut any fun food from my lifestyle of party planning and celebrations.
-Feeling deprived of being normal.
-Feeling like no matter how hard I try that I'll never be good enough so why try?
-Feeling like my body isn't designed to look good so I'm wasting time.
-Getting mad that it takes so much focus to look "normal"
Ok, so those are a handful of things that hold me back...now onto the OVERCOMING part...??
Friday, June 11, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Progress?
This post was supposed to be about measured progress. Instead it's just about measured. 6:30am marked my first workout since March. I was shocked. Monday's are going to be focused on muscular endurance, so I start with push-ups, etc. I also stretched and jogged to warm up, neither of which I've ever done before.
Here were my results:
-jogging to the corner and back was difficult
-40 push-ups with good form was difficult
-10 pull-ups was pushing it
-even 10 dips was hard
-my plank lasted a whopping 30 seconds
It's embarrassing to post bad numbers. But I did it and I prefer that to the alternative.
Although I've done a good job staying off the scale (the reality is I will never be happy with the number on it anyway, so it's guaranteed to disappoint me), I've witnessed interesting changes in my body since March. My tummy has a layer of fat that wasn't there before and my back and arms are much thinner. My legs are still toned, but much smaller and not very firm.
I'll end on a positive note. Nowhere to go from here, but up!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Balance Bound
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about BALANCE. It is something I truly struggle with. April and May I tried to focus on moderation and balance and simply taking life as it comes. My goal was to learn how to not beat myself up over mistakes in health and fitness and to enjoy the journey.
HOWEVER!! Lately, I've been swerving away from that brief practice and I REALLY want to just go ALL OUT! Should I? What could happen in my life over the next 6 months if I took that leap and went all out? I'm tempted to do this. It agrees with my personality.
I am in the mood for extreme diet and fitness. I want to see what I'm capable of. I'm tired of feeling like a loser. And I have big hidden question marks within wondering "What can I REALLY do if I tried my best"? What would my body be able to accomplish? Could I run a marathon? Can I look better than I did after I had Cameron? Is that even possible anymore?? Can I do most anything physically that I tried to?
BUT...is this is mistake? Would I only be an extreme fitness girl for a short season? What are the consequences? BUT...what if it wasn't just for a season? What if it lasted just like the extreme choice in my life to become a wife and mom lasted? Being a wife and mom is now just part of my identity. What if the same could be true of this adventure? Or will I just fail? Why can't balance and normality be sufficient for me? I know it's the most sensible so why do I shy away from it?
Lisa
HOWEVER!! Lately, I've been swerving away from that brief practice and I REALLY want to just go ALL OUT! Should I? What could happen in my life over the next 6 months if I took that leap and went all out? I'm tempted to do this. It agrees with my personality.
I am in the mood for extreme diet and fitness. I want to see what I'm capable of. I'm tired of feeling like a loser. And I have big hidden question marks within wondering "What can I REALLY do if I tried my best"? What would my body be able to accomplish? Could I run a marathon? Can I look better than I did after I had Cameron? Is that even possible anymore?? Can I do most anything physically that I tried to?
BUT...is this is mistake? Would I only be an extreme fitness girl for a short season? What are the consequences? BUT...what if it wasn't just for a season? What if it lasted just like the extreme choice in my life to become a wife and mom lasted? Being a wife and mom is now just part of my identity. What if the same could be true of this adventure? Or will I just fail? Why can't balance and normality be sufficient for me? I know it's the most sensible so why do I shy away from it?
Lisa
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Setbacks
My intention was to post every month. Somehow April has turned into May. Better late than never, right?
The theme of my workouts since posting last is setbacks. My knee's are hammered from JiuJitsu so at my Wife's recommendations I decided to take an 8 week grappling break. Also because of the injurys, running was out of the question. But I need my cardio. It's an important part of who I want to be physically. A little research revealed that the Navy allows their personal to test the PFT on an elliptical. Good enough for sailors, good enough for me.
April is also our birthday month. This is the box my Baby got me.
Inside was LOTS of get big helpers!
So I was all primed to get ripped. I quickly resolved to hit the gym on my way home from work every day. 10 Days into it I re-tore a tendon in my elbow. It's an injury I've battled for going on a decade. Discouraging is a giant understatement. Even using the upper portion of the elliptical is impossible.
So here I sit. My 8 week hiatus from JiuJitsu ends next Thursday. Hopefully I can adapt my style to allow light rolling despite my elbow. I know good and well I should be on the elliptical and just not using the top half of it. Seems skinny people get paralyzed by physical ineptness too. Hopefully my next post will be about measured progress.
On a better note, Lisa and I have started walking and jogging together. We do just over 3 miles a night. Cumulative it's more miles a week than I was logging running hard during intense training! The time we get is invaluable and we always feel better when we're done than we did before we started. Our time out is always the highlight of my day!
The theme of my workouts since posting last is setbacks. My knee's are hammered from JiuJitsu so at my Wife's recommendations I decided to take an 8 week grappling break. Also because of the injurys, running was out of the question. But I need my cardio. It's an important part of who I want to be physically. A little research revealed that the Navy allows their personal to test the PFT on an elliptical. Good enough for sailors, good enough for me.
April is also our birthday month. This is the box my Baby got me.
Inside was LOTS of get big helpers!
So I was all primed to get ripped. I quickly resolved to hit the gym on my way home from work every day. 10 Days into it I re-tore a tendon in my elbow. It's an injury I've battled for going on a decade. Discouraging is a giant understatement. Even using the upper portion of the elliptical is impossible.
So here I sit. My 8 week hiatus from JiuJitsu ends next Thursday. Hopefully I can adapt my style to allow light rolling despite my elbow. I know good and well I should be on the elliptical and just not using the top half of it. Seems skinny people get paralyzed by physical ineptness too. Hopefully my next post will be about measured progress.
On a better note, Lisa and I have started walking and jogging together. We do just over 3 miles a night. Cumulative it's more miles a week than I was logging running hard during intense training! The time we get is invaluable and we always feel better when we're done than we did before we started. Our time out is always the highlight of my day!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Nothing
I've waited with this white screen in front of me for almost 20 minutes and nothing is coming to me. I have no words. No thoughts. No actions. Nothing to contribute at this time.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Monthly Progress Report - Chris
Milestones achieved since last posting:
-March 3rd: New 3 mile personal best, 19:10. Previous best was 20:40. That's a 6.3% improvement. I'll need to improve my current time by 11.4% to meet my goal of running 3 miles in under 17:00 minutes.
-March 8th: Did heavy lifting with a spotter. Unfortunately I was not in charge of how much went on the bar, so my notes are not 100% accurate. But my lifting partner told me we did 255 once for a decline bench press. That was at the middle of the workout. He was very confident I could flat bench 250 once for a record when the time comes. Although this is not an official personal best, it is a bit of a milestone for me.
-March 21st: Completed 17 chin ups. Actually this was done impromptu at a friends house. When I started practicing in pull-ups in February I could do 10. When I last posted I could do 12. So a 29.5% improvement since then.
-March 22nd: Held one plank for 2:10. Sit-ups irritate an old neck injury so I am doing planks instead. I want to be able to hold one for 6 minutes. When I can do that, 10 sit ups should not be a problem.
My running goal is unique from my others because I'm treading on new ground. When I was in my early 20's I did 84 push ups, 25 pull ups and benched 255 pounds. But I have never been able to run 3 miles in any respectable time (if at all). I'm look forward all time personal bests in every category.
-March 3rd: New 3 mile personal best, 19:10. Previous best was 20:40. That's a 6.3% improvement. I'll need to improve my current time by 11.4% to meet my goal of running 3 miles in under 17:00 minutes.
-March 8th: Did heavy lifting with a spotter. Unfortunately I was not in charge of how much went on the bar, so my notes are not 100% accurate. But my lifting partner told me we did 255 once for a decline bench press. That was at the middle of the workout. He was very confident I could flat bench 250 once for a record when the time comes. Although this is not an official personal best, it is a bit of a milestone for me.
-March 21st: Completed 17 chin ups. Actually this was done impromptu at a friends house. When I started practicing in pull-ups in February I could do 10. When I last posted I could do 12. So a 29.5% improvement since then.
-March 22nd: Held one plank for 2:10. Sit-ups irritate an old neck injury so I am doing planks instead. I want to be able to hold one for 6 minutes. When I can do that, 10 sit ups should not be a problem.
My running goal is unique from my others because I'm treading on new ground. When I was in my early 20's I did 84 push ups, 25 pull ups and benched 255 pounds. But I have never been able to run 3 miles in any respectable time (if at all). I'm look forward all time personal bests in every category.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Start With The End In Mind
Christopher's #1 fitness goal: Pass the Special Forces Physical Fitness Test with a 300 score.
I believe all men should do their best to be prepared for any curves that life may throw at us. Who better to look towards for direction on physical preparedness than the Armed Forces? The US Special forces uses 7 different exercises to measure a soldiers capabilities. These include Push-ups, Sit-ups, Pull-ups, timed 2, 3 or 5 mile run (varies depending on branch), 16 mile hike with a 65 pound backpack, and a 15 meter swim. After spending time looking at the different criteria for each age bracket and accompanying score, I determined that I should be able to do the following:
-100 push-ups in 2 min (currently I can do between 50 and 60)
-100 sit-ups in 2 min (currently I can do just over 60)
-3 mile run in under 17 minutes (current time is 20:40)
-25 pull-ups (current # is 12)
The hike sounds fun, and I would like to try it. However I am not going to train specifically for it. I suspect when I meet my goals the hike will take care of itself. The swimming portion of the test is something that most guys who grew up on Lake Powell could pass on any given weekend. Since I belong to that group I won't be training for it either.
Fitness goal #2: Appearance.
Call it vein or call it shallow, I just call it the way it is. IHow I look is important to me. A personal trainer once asked me why I wanted such big muscles. I thought long and hard about my answer. Why does any guy want to look like a comic book super hero? I never want to make another man feel bad about their physique and most women don't like muscle freaks. So its not to show anyone else. I'm certainly not one that likes to be noticed, I'm sort of a social hermit. No the truth of the matter is I want to like what I see when I look in the mirror.
So how big do I really want to be? I'm not sure. Everyone carries weight so differently that I am not certain how much I'll weigh when I am satisfied. What I do know is I want to be strong. My initial strength goals are as follows:
-bench press 250 pounds
-squat 350 pounds
-dead lift 450 pounds
It's been many years since I have tried a one rep max of any kind. And for the last year all of my training has been endurance focused with dumb-bells. I plan to use a 5x5 weight plan to work up my initial goals. In perfect world I would add 100 pounds to each of those numbers.
Fitness goal #3: Submission Grappling.
Besides technique, there are 6 physical attributes a grappler can work on to improve their game. In no particular order they are strength, speed, flexibility, endurance, and balance. A couple of these are addressed with my first two goals (strength & endurance). Improvement in the other three will be addressed long term, but I am not addressing them specifically now. Eventually I will incorporate more bag work and sprinting to address speed. Balance and Flexibility will be addressed when I take up yoga. Yes, seriously.
I believe all men should do their best to be prepared for any curves that life may throw at us. Who better to look towards for direction on physical preparedness than the Armed Forces? The US Special forces uses 7 different exercises to measure a soldiers capabilities. These include Push-ups, Sit-ups, Pull-ups, timed 2, 3 or 5 mile run (varies depending on branch), 16 mile hike with a 65 pound backpack, and a 15 meter swim. After spending time looking at the different criteria for each age bracket and accompanying score, I determined that I should be able to do the following:
-100 push-ups in 2 min (currently I can do between 50 and 60)
-100 sit-ups in 2 min (currently I can do just over 60)
-3 mile run in under 17 minutes (current time is 20:40)
-25 pull-ups (current # is 12)
The hike sounds fun, and I would like to try it. However I am not going to train specifically for it. I suspect when I meet my goals the hike will take care of itself. The swimming portion of the test is something that most guys who grew up on Lake Powell could pass on any given weekend. Since I belong to that group I won't be training for it either.
Fitness goal #2: Appearance.
Call it vein or call it shallow, I just call it the way it is. IHow I look is important to me. A personal trainer once asked me why I wanted such big muscles. I thought long and hard about my answer. Why does any guy want to look like a comic book super hero? I never want to make another man feel bad about their physique and most women don't like muscle freaks. So its not to show anyone else. I'm certainly not one that likes to be noticed, I'm sort of a social hermit. No the truth of the matter is I want to like what I see when I look in the mirror.
So how big do I really want to be? I'm not sure. Everyone carries weight so differently that I am not certain how much I'll weigh when I am satisfied. What I do know is I want to be strong. My initial strength goals are as follows:
-bench press 250 pounds
-squat 350 pounds
-dead lift 450 pounds
It's been many years since I have tried a one rep max of any kind. And for the last year all of my training has been endurance focused with dumb-bells. I plan to use a 5x5 weight plan to work up my initial goals. In perfect world I would add 100 pounds to each of those numbers.
Fitness goal #3: Submission Grappling.
Besides technique, there are 6 physical attributes a grappler can work on to improve their game. In no particular order they are strength, speed, flexibility, endurance, and balance. A couple of these are addressed with my first two goals (strength & endurance). Improvement in the other three will be addressed long term, but I am not addressing them specifically now. Eventually I will incorporate more bag work and sprinting to address speed. Balance and Flexibility will be addressed when I take up yoga. Yes, seriously.
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