Overcoming the Concrete

I feel like my entire body has been stuck in CEMENT. I cannot move forward even though I want to. I can think of A MILLION reasons why I would love to be physically fit and beautiful but I'm stuck. Aside from deeply rooted emotions, what are the reasons why I'm stuck?

BRAINSTORM:

-Fear of losing motivation
-Fear of losing any ground I cover
-Fear of being worse than I was before I started
-Not wanting to feel angry for the "unfairness" of the sacrifices I have to personally do regarding food and exercise to look even half way decent compared to what other women have to do
-Not having the discipline to follow an exercise plan
-Feeling upset that I have to cut any fun food from my lifestyle of party planning and celebrations.
-Feeling deprived of being normal.
-Feeling like no matter how hard I try that I'll never be good enough so why try?
-Feeling like my body isn't designed to look good so I'm wasting time.
-Getting mad that it takes so much focus to look "normal"

Ok, so those are a handful of things that hold me back...now onto the OVERCOMING part...??

Progress?

This post was supposed to be about measured progress. Instead it's just about measured. 6:30am marked my first workout since March. I was shocked. Monday's are going to be focused on muscular endurance, so I start with push-ups, etc. I also stretched and jogged to warm up, neither of which I've ever done before. 

Here were my results:

-jogging to the corner and back was difficult

-40 push-ups with good form was difficult

-10 pull-ups was pushing it

-even 10 dips was hard

-my plank lasted a whopping 30 seconds

It's embarrassing to post bad numbers. But I did it and I prefer that to the alternative. 

Although I've done a good job staying off the scale (the reality is I will never be happy with the number on it anyway, so it's guaranteed to disappoint me), I've witnessed interesting changes in my body since March.  My tummy has a layer of fat that wasn't there before and my back and arms are much thinner.  My legs are still toned, but much smaller and not very firm. 

I'll end on a positive note. Nowhere to go from here, but up!